Some Feelings Never Change

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another." - Thomas Merton

I was first introduced to this quote from the episode titled "Zugzwang" on Criminal Minds. And the idea that this is our true destiny has always inspired me to continue my search. Throughout my long journey, there have been a few women that have stood out to me, and possessed qualities that I now desire in a potential spouse.

One such woman I ran into last night. To protect identities, I will not mention any real names. However, I saw this person while out grocery shopping. I had not seen her in quite a few years. However, thanks to the magic of social networks, we have kept up with each other. We had met in college, both of us taking a computer programming course. She wanted to be a video game designer. I know, beautiful and nerdy, to good to be true. Well of course, she was taken. Since I'm not the type of guy to lure woman away from their boyfriends, we became friends. She and I eventually became very close for a while before life took us our separate ways.

Anyway, back to this encounter. In the years since I have seen her last, I have developed a bit of a social anxiety. I was extremely excited to see her, but felt awkward as we stood there and she introunced me to her husband and son. It was awkward for me because through the uneasy body movements, I felt I was giving off a bad vibe. Anyway, aso we talked, I noticed how happy she was with life. Having been as close to her as I once was, I couldn't have been happier for her.

So I knew from that moment, whomever I end up with, I want the same type of friendship I had with her, one that I regret having lost as life sent us our separate ways.

First Blog Entry

Greetings readers,

The following blog posts are stories among my sad attempt to be successful in the world of dating. Over the past few years, I have tried my hand at online dating and had very unimpressive results. However, over those past few years, I have learned a ton about what women look for, and what I desire.

From my experience, there are four types of female online daters. The first being the physical connection type. This person is one that is looking for someone that they are physically attracted to, and has the potential to pass down strong physical traits to offspring. Being a man of larger circumference, these are the women that will pass up my profile and messages with a blink of the eye.

Next is the divorced/single mother type. Now I have went on a few dates with these types and they tend to be amazing women. However, unfortunately somewhere down the line they have been hurt. This pain that they suffer creates a hesitancy to trust new potential romantic interests in their lives. I totally understand and respect this about them.

The third type of woman in online dating I call the last resorters. The last reporters feel like they need a relationship with someone so badlyrics, that anyone that gives them attention, whether it's good or bad. But this also leaves them to feeling insecure and clingy when they do meet someone. These are the type of women that will, in my experience, push back at every nice thing you say about them, or complain about your quirks. And yes, I have dated a few of these women as well.

The final type of woman is fabled in online dating. This type of woman is what I have been looking for over the past few years. Almost like bigfoot, I swear I see her standing in woods, but turns out the image was just fake. This woman is someone that is perfectly ok with the person I am (which I am a dork according to many sources) and feels the freedom to be who she wants to be.someone that pushes me to be better, while at the same time, getting the same support from me. A great sense of humor, trustworthy, passionate. Someone so rare, that I cannot think of other adjectives to describe this person.

Please note that physical appearance has nothing to do with the qualifications I seek. I have met so many beautiful woman of all shapes and sizes that the outside doesn't matter to me, it's all about the connection we share.

This blog is to dedicated to Journaling my journey to finding that one person, whether it is from online dating or not. Looking for that 4th type of dater, the unicorn the universe has made for me.